is it worth of countertop — My Unsolicited Two Cents

Okay so I’m walking the dog—he just stopped to sniff something for the millionth time—and I saw your question about countertop stuff. Oh man— I have thoughts. Let me try to remember them before I forget because my brain is just (gestures vaguely at everything).

First off I bought one of those countertop things like a year ago? Maybe longer? The cheap one from (you know, the generic one at the store). Not the fancy expensive kind my neighbor has that I’m pretty sure cost more than my first car. Anyway. Here’s what I learned.

Why I even looked into this

My kitchen counter was just… there. Taking up space. Looking fine but doing nothing. I have this weird corner between the fridge and the wall where nothing fits except a plant that I keep killing. My friend Jenny was like “oh you should get one of those countertop machines” and I was like “for what?” and she said “for stuff” and I said “what stuff” and she said “I dunno, snacks?” I mean okay fair enough.

So I looked into it. Reddit threads. One where a guy said he uses his every single morning and another where someone said theirs broke after two weeks. Typical internet. I don’t know if the guy who said it broke was just really aggressive with it or if the brand he got was actually bad. But I got the cheap one anyway because my budget is held together with tape right now (thanks toddler + inflation + my sudden obsession with candles).

What surprised me after a week

Honestly? It worked. Not like “wow magical” but like “oh okay this is actually useful.” I made some stuff in it the first weekend and was like… huh. The kids ate it. My husband didn’t complain. That’s a win in my book.

But here’s the thing nobody told me: it’s noisy. Like, I didn’t realize how noisy until I was on a work call and forgot to shut the kitchen door. My boss was like “are you remodeling?” No Dave, I’m just making lunch.

The noise thing nobody mentions

Mine is not super loud but it makes this specific hum that vibrates through the counter. If you leave a mug on the counter while it’s running the mug rattles. I don’t know if that’s normal or if mine is broken. Probably normal. I hope.

Look, Also the first batch I made was terrible. I didn’t read the directions because who reads directions? Me apparently not, because the texture was all wrong. My dog looked at me like I had betrayed him when I tried to give him some. He’s picky though. He also hates the mailman for no reason so his judgment is questionable.

Wait what was I saying. Oh right countertop stuff.

One trap you should avoid

Also my friend said hers got a weird smell after a few months. Something about the rubber seal? I don’t know if that’s a common thing. Mine hasn’t done that yet but she’s way more diligent about cleaning than I am. I just run it through with soap now and then and hope for the best.

Who probably doesn’t need this

If you eat out a lot or you’re the kind of person who orders groceries online every day? Maybe skip it. I almost never use mine when I’m on a busy week. It sits there looking pretty and I feel guilty. But when I do use it I’m like “oh I love this thing.” It’s weird.

My neighbor has the expensive one and she says it’s great. But she also has a cleaner and a gardener so like. Different life than mine. I don’t know if the expensive version is really that much better or if you’re just paying for the name. Honestly I don’t think I’d buy the cheap one again? Or maybe I would. I keep going back and forth.

The part that actually matters

Here’s what I’ve landed on after a year: it’s worth it if you actually use it. If you’re the type of person who buys a blender and then uses it twice, you’ll waste money. If you’re like “I want to try new things every week” and you’re willing to clean it? Yeah go for it.

I made some snacks for a party once and everyone asked what it was and I felt like a chef. That was a good day. The day after I burned toast though so like… balance.

Anyway sorry this is long. Dog just yanked the leash because he saw another dog. I gotta go. Let me know if you get one. Don’t forget the plastic spoon thing. And maybe don’t bother with the expensive version unless you have money to burn. I got the cheap one and it was fine for me. Would I buy it again? Um. Maybe. Ask me again when my counter isn’t covered in crayons and snack crumbs.

Oh also I’m making pasta for dinner tonight. No idea if that’s helpful but you asked. Okay bye.